’ Dom was furious at this man he’d never met. ‘I mean, I know about superstitions. I know about wearing the same shirt or the same socks or eating the same meal or whatever before a game. But it’s never anyone’s fault that wasn’t on the team. If he couldn’t learn that, he never would have made it in the majors, anyway.’ ‘I guess.’ Lani was quiet for a moment. ‘Jason was good. Not as good as you, but better than most. He might have had a career at least as a backup, possibly a number one for the right team. Now we’ll never know.’ ‘You believe him,’ Dom said quietly, ‘don’t you? You think it’s your fault?’ ‘Not really,’ she said, ‘not intellectually. But for a long time I couldn’t help but think it would have been different if I’d stayed home, or watched on TV.’ ‘It wouldn’t have made a difference,’ Dom argued softly. ‘I know, I know,’ she said with a sigh. ‘It’s just . . . he lost something he wanted so much, and he blames me for it. I wish I knew how to make it up to him. I apologized. I was aching for the real thing now, as all the masturbation could not answer what sex was really like, so one night I plucked up the courage to go over to the man opposite (I considered him a man because of his age, 13 years older than I was) and ask him if he would fuck me. I pulled on a summer frock of thin cotton, one that allowed you to see my naked form with the sun behind me, and went across to where he was sitting on his doorstep. I was always a very practicable girl, exacting, precise and straight to the point. I went up to him and he watched my closely as I approached him, stopping in front of him, I simply said, ‘Will you fuck me and have my virginity’? I mean what red bl**ded male could refuse such a request from a f******n year old? ‘Can I fuck your ass as well’? I looked at him, ‘fuck my ass’, I never thought about my bum-hole being used for sex, so I replied with candour, ‘If you want to then yes’. I followed him upstairs to he bedroom, which was spartan to say the.
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